All Dreams Can Come True....Except YOURS!

I am torn. Not because I don't know what I want but just the opposite. My life goals and dreams bother me because I totally feel liberated succumbing to them but in retrospect I have NO BUSINESS flying off on magic carpets, stopping to take pictures of unicorns and stepping through a wrinkle in time to go see the wizard. I am a 27 year old mother of two (one on the way), with no real job, no savings, stocks, inheritances, rich friends or any other means to properly support myself. However, with my "meantime" jobs and lackluster commitment to them, I manage to get the bills paid. Sometimes I get side-swiped by eviction notices, utility shutoff notices and layoffs but it is all how you see it. I use to view it as a great way to be depressed, now, I am not bothered. Why? Because I am going to start a multi-million dollar business anyway, right? Funny but I do have that much audacity to actually believe in myself despite my circumstances.

I'm still torn because I can't stop thinking about how great it would be to work for myself and how capable I am to make that happen. I stop sometimes and think that I am nuts. How can I start a business with nothing but a twinkle in my eye. lord knows I am going to need more than that.

And dreams...they say are for people who have too much time on their hands because of course if I was at ABC Incorporated working on memos with a manager that works my nerve, making just enough money to HAVE to show up again on Monday, then I wouldn't be DREAMING so damn much, right? Been there, done that, got laid off.....three times. The third time's a charm. I pretty much done.

2007 Ellay West

Why I Suck

I suck because I procrastinate. While I can profess great changes that I would like to see in my life. I do nothing. Or not enough. Then there are those who enable and tell me that I am doing what I can but I know in the back of my mind that I am not. I view success as being a relentless effort towards a goal. The new meaning of night time should be plenty of time to work instead of plenty of time to sleep. The new meaning of a great day should be a very well-worked group of hours. The new meaning of living should be actually breathing, thriving and growth.

With that said, I have lots to do.